The stock market can be volatile and unpredictable place, with many investors feeling overwhelmed with the constant ups and down of the markets. But, occasionally it adds a dash of humor in our life to make it a little less intimidating in circumstances. We’ll look at the updated the stock market jargon in this post, to make sure to chuckle you.
Bull Market: “Bull Market is commonly known term to describe a random market movement that leads to an investor believe that they are a financial genius.”
In bull market, when the stocks are rising and gains are pouring in, then it is simple to get carried away by the euphoria. But, it is necessary to keep in mind that these market changes can be transient and should not be interpreted as a testament of unfailing financial judgment
Bear Market: “Bear Market, is however, understood as the six to 18-month time when a kid does not get any allowance or the wife gets no jewelry.”
This is exactly a bleak outlook, but it is not entirely inaccurate. Bear markets can be difficult times financially, with many investors tightening their belts and also cutting back on expenses.
Momentum Investing:- “Momentum Investing denotes to the fine art of buying high and selling low assets.”
This is a tongue-in-cheek reference to that many investors tend to jump on the bandwagon when a stock is already doing well. This is only for the sell when the market turns sour.
Value Investing:- “Another art of buying low and selling lower is called value investing.”
This may contradictory of common expectation, but the goal behind value investing is to find for stocks, that are undervalued and have room to grow.” Obviously, this strategy is not much failsafe, and it is important to do your own research before plunging in.
The P/E ratio:- “The P/E Ratio represents the percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps.”
This one gives clarity for itself. When the market is in free fall or is downgrading, it can be easy to panic and make hurried decisions. However, it is essential to stay calm and remember that the market has a past history of recovering over time.
Broker:- “My broker as made me what a broker is known for.”
This is a lighthearted jab at the fact that brokers often make a commission off their client’s trades, which can at times lead to conflicting interests.
B Buy:- “B buy is a flight attendant making recommendations as you step off the pale.”
This is a humorous piece to the fact that many investors tend to take stock tips from anyone who will offer them, whether it’s a celebrity, a friend, or even a stranger.
Standard & Poor:- “Stand & Poor is a life in a nutshell.”
This is a bit of a bleak outlook, but it speaks to the fact that the stock market can have a major impact on our lives.
Stock Analyst:- “A stock analyst is usually called the idiot who just downgraded your stock.”
This is a bit of a humoristic reference to the fact that stock analysts are often wrong in their predictions, and thus certain collapses can cause a stock to take a major hit.
Stock Split:- “When your ex-wife and her attorney equally divide all of your possessions between them, this is known as a stock split.”
This one is a bit of groaner, but it plays off the idea that stock splits can be a contentious issue for investors.
Financial Planner:- “A financial planner is a guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs to the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes.”
This is a humorous take on the fact that financial planners are supposed to help you manage your money, but they are not infallible and can make mistakes like anyone else.
Market corrections:- “A market correction is a day after you buy stocks.”
This one is a bit of a downer, but it’s a reminder that the market can be unpredictable, and there’s always the possibility that a stock you just bought could take a turn for the worse.
Cash flow:- “Cash flow is the movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.”
This is a humorous take on the fact that cash flow can be a tricky thing to manage, although, it’s easy to let your money slip away if you’re not careful.
Yahoo:- YAHOO what you shout after you sell it to a gullible fool for $240 per share. This is a bit of a cheeky reference to the dot-com bubble of the late 1990s, when many investors were buying up tech stocks at inflated prices which is just to see them crashing down.
Windows 2000:- “If you were the fool who purchased Yahoo at a price of $240 per share, you would leap out of Windows 2000.”
This one is a bit dated, but it’s a nod to the fact that many investors lost of money during the dot-com bust.
Institutional investors:- “Institutional investors are described as past year investors who are now locked up in a nuthouse.”
This is a bit of a dark joke, but it plays off the fact that institutional investors can often be seen as the “smart money” in the market, with access to information and resources that individual investors any have.
While the stock market can be a serious and complex place, it’s important to remember that a little bit of humor can go a long way in making it all seem a little less scary. By taking a lighthearted approach to some of the more arcane stock market terms, we can remind ourselves not to take it all too seriously, and to enjoy the ride, no matter where it takes us.
